We all have those moments when we’re lying in bed right before falling asleep and our mind is playing tricks on us; cycling through a loop of our most regretful and embarrassing moments over and over and over. No matter how hard you try, that one little sentence, weird facial expression or clumsy trip just won’t budge. Sometimes the fixation gets so bad you need to physically squirm or grunt to yourself because you just can’t find any other way to let it out!
Whenever I have moments like that, I really need to talk about it. I immediately call my girlfriends to express the intense embarrassment that I just ignited, yearning for the calming commonality that we rely on in our shared experiences. The reality is, we all have those embarrassing moments that truly feel like the end of the world. What we really need in those times is a good friend to get us out of our heads to remind us that no one, in the grand scheme of things, is even thinking about any of our snafus.
The best part about talking it out with friends is that we can gain so many different perspectives. We all have that sensitive friend who provides words of affirmation and who holds you when you are crying. Then, there’s the funny friend who makes us laugh at ourselves, shedding a less serious light on the situation while the wise, direct friend is the one who tells you to simply get over it and let it go.
But let’s face it, there are always those times when we’re alone with our thoughts and have no one to talk to in the moment. Like when you are driving back from a boy’s house late at night after he went in for the kiss and you went in for the hug and it was just sooo uncomfortable. You’re on your way home, all of your friends are asleep because it’s 2AM, you’re freaking out and you don’t want to call your mom because she’ll worry. What do we need to do in those moments? Dig deep and simply, love ya self!
AROOMATHERAPY makes an Intention Spray literally called LOVE YA SELF. In some ways, it can serve as our grounding best friend in times of anxiety, overthinking, and self-doubt. It was formulated with a purpose. Clary sage and lavender have been known to evoke relaxation and wellbeing in both the mind and the body just like our empath friend. The frankincense acts as our funny, goofy friend who energizes us while the tangy tangerine may help to get us up and laughing at ourselves. And the ylang ylang is like the direct, wise comforting friend. All of these pure and natural oils come together in a self-assuring blend just like the perfect friend group reminding us of the best parts of ourselves; the friend group that makes us feel our most confident, loved and accepted.
Building self-confidence as college students has its challenges. We’re often thinking of a million things at once, wanting to portray ourselves in the best way possible to as many people as possible. It often seems as though we find ourselves at a funny in-between stage where we’re growing into our adulthood but don’t yet have the self-assuredness of our parents. It can feel like every little thing bothers us, and that’s okay! Why? Because if there is one thing I learned in college, it’s that we’re all thinking the same thing. It’s hard to keep in perspective that we’re all at the same stage of life; in between our insecure high school years yet a bit out of reach of our soon-to-come confident mid-twenties. There’s almost a sense of pluralistic ignorance that lies in the journey of finding our confidence in college.
People always say “fake it till you make it” but to be honest, I never really cared for that saying. Why would you want to fake confidence when all you need are those people, places, scents, songs, and activities that bring out the best in you? Think about it…We never fake our confidence when we are recapping a party from the night before. Our hysterical laughter rings through the whole house while we are cuddled up in a bed with our roommates in the morning. After a night of being surrounded by flirty conversations, wild dance moves, and trendy music it’s nice to giggle, joke, and recap the night. We’re also reminded of this confidence in those moments when we’re having an intellectual conversation in class, discussing a topic of which we are really passionate about. You don’t even have to think about what you are saying because you know this information like the back of your hand from pure and genuine interest alone. In these moments, we realize confidence is not about how you act or look, it is all about how you feel.
As a college student, the challenge lies in those times when your friends are at work or school, or when you have to give a presentation in class that you are super worried about. This is when we need to pull from that well of confidence that is there with us all along.
For some reason, it’s so much harder to love yourself than it is to be that person for your friends. Many of us have a hard time finding confidence independently and it’s such an important thing to learn on our journey into adulthood. How do we find our own words of affirmation, give ourselves hugs or make ourselves laugh? I’m not sure I fully know the answer yet but I do know that it starts with finding within ourselves what everyone else already sees.
With intention sprays like those that support self-growth, we can explore those pathways toward finding our self-confidence. It could be just the little push needed to walk into that classroom and nail the presentation. College is the only time that we’ll have all of our closest friends with us 24/7 and eventually, when we graduate, we’ll need to learn how to de-stress without them. This intention spray is just a little something to remind us to pause, to breathe and to manifest the self-love that we need to be our own BFFs. We’ll of course, always need our friends by our side but we also need to be gentle and kind to ourselves first and foremost. As we navigate our individual paths, finding our own way, it’s so important to keep close those people, places and things that can help boost our confidence when we’re just not feeling it. Who knows maybe the LOVE YA SELF Intention Spray will be your new best girlfriend!